Our district has always had a habit of avoiding doing what they are supposed to do for as long as possible. They know they will eventually have to do what the law says but if they can put it off it will save them money (they think!). One of the ways they have done this is by not inviting decision makers to the meeting.
We don’t often know who the decision makers are when we first begin the IEP process. As you go along you figure out who in your district needs to be there, but early on it’s often impossible to know. If you are looking at a change say between districts or from County schools to district or district to County schools there must be a representative from the place you hope to change to at the meeting or no change will happen. There must be someone at the meeting who can make the decision and not inviting them is the easiest way to avoid doing what you are asking for them to do.
When our daughter was in pre-school we decided we needed to change her placement. The school where she went first was about a 30 minute drive away. We were told she HAD to go to that particular school because she was non-ambulatory (she didn't walk until 3 years, 4 months. We agreed to that school originally because we believed this lie, and then when she could walk and we were told by her regional center case worker that she didn't like how the staff was treating our daughter we decided it was time to make a change.
I requested an IEP meeting and told them that we wanted to change her placement. We had a meeting, but no one from the new school came so we couldn't make the change. Another meeting was set - for 30 days later (the maximum allowed by law) and once again, whoever needed to be there wasn't there, so another meeting was scheduled, again, 30 days later. Again, the right people weren't there. At this point I said "Fine, but my daughter will not be attending school until you get this meeting set and we get the new placement worked out." They were able to get a meeting put together, with the right people, and get her placed before that 30 day time limit once they knew they would not be getting their paycheck for her unless they made a new placement happen.
This taught me a few of things. We can play hardball with them, especially when it comes to attendance before they legally have to attend school. Also, we often hear that our kids cost a lot of money but I have had at least one school do everything they could through four IEP meetings to keep her, so my bet is they get more money than it costs to provide the services they actually provide in most cases. If they are fighting to keep your kid, they are probably making a bundle on my child and I probably need to be looking at what they aren't doing that they should. My child should not be a money maker for the district - they should see her as a child to invest in, not as a cash cow.
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