Q & A Should I Walk Out of an IEP Meeting?

I can't go into specifics, but I had a huge difficulty in my IEP today and I wanted to walk out early because it was going nowhere. What should I have said? Have you ever left an IEP early for that reason? After hours and hours, I ended up not signing the IEP it and rescheduling for another day.

It's pretty difficult to know how to suggest what you should have said.  Each situation is so different.  I would never suggest walking out of an IEP early, I think you did well to stay.  I always take my IEPs home, unless it is very simple, so that I don't have to worry about what is in the paperwork as I can very clearly see that the goals are what we discussed, the services are what we discussed and the notes are simple and I can take in what it says easily.  I just did that with an IEP that was to discuss an IEE and the district agreed to do exactly what we wanted, we wrote one goal, there was no change in services, and less than half a page of notes.  But that is rare.

I would write out what I wanted to see happen, maybe even send it to the head of Special ed if you think that would help.  If you need an evaluation to back up what you wanted think about that.  Was this a Triannual IEP?  If so you are entitled to an IEE in every area you think should be addressed.  They may try to say you are only entitled to them in areas that they addressed but that isn't true, they should have already addressed all areas of suspected disability and if they didn't then you have the right to an IEE in an area that you suspect now. It is best to include your suspected concerns on the Assessment Plan, but you are not responsible for all of the assessments being on there, they are.  If it wasn't a Triannual then you may need to ask them for evaluations and then get the IEEs after they present you with evaluations because their evaluation had to be within a year.  

I think it is always better to sign for the aspects of the IEP that you agree with (though usually at home), you will also look more reasonable that way should you end up in due process later.  I usually sign for goals and services except that I may disagree with the services being so few maybe in behavioral - so I would say "I agree to implementing the IEP as it is, but I do believe that there should be more behavioral therapy than is being suggested.  I will accept what is current ly being offered but do not agree that it is enough."  Or if they are suggesting reducing or removing services I would say "I do not agree with the reduction in services offered in this IEP.  I would like to request an IEE to confirm if the reduction is reasonable and in the meantime, I would like the district to continue the services as they were presented in the last IEP."  Then I would send a letter requesting the IEE and mention the stay put for services that you have requested.  The cannot legally discontinue services or reduce them now without taking you to due process to prove that they were right.  Most often the district will need to give you the IEE unless they are also prepared to insist that their evaluation was adequate - which then means you would need to get the evaluation and pay for it out of pocket and have the expert show that their evaluation was crap, but that may be a long way out and my never happen, just trying to give you advance warning. 

Sleazy Additions to Resolution Settlements

I can't talk about my own resolution settlement because it is confidential - mind you that confidentiality was not at our request but at the districts insistence - they don't want other parents to know what they give to some of the parents.  It might encourage others to ask for the kind of services that are working for other kids when the district fails to do its job.  So consider this a compilation of several cases.

Now a lot of settlements are made during due process but prior to going to court.  The districts know when they have stinker of a case and that they are likely to lose and will often settle during mediation rather than risk losing big and being exposed as court cases subject them to.  What I have seen them do though is go into the mediation and discuss certain issues but not give specific dates and such, not discuss certain terms, such as transportation, and then get real sneaky and sleazy and insert things into the resolution agreement as though they had been discussed.  Then when you bring it up they refuse to discuss it because "we have an agreement" when in fact you didn't agree to what they have put in the document.   

If the child is being sent to a non-public school that location is likely some distance from the child's home - so when the district sneaks "no transportation" into the agreement that puts the parents in the position of having to take their child to and from school every day, which may be some distance.  Since the child is in school all day, it is unlikely that the parent can just sit around and wait all day so they must make two trips daily to a location that could be 20 - 30 - or 40 miles or more.  Right now gasoline prices continue to rise and with an average of 25 mpg and a distance of 25 miles each way that will mean 4 gallons of gasoline per day, not to mention the increased costs for insurance when putting on so many miles every day.  It adds up.

Another sneaky way to avoid paying what the district should rightfully pay is to put limits on when they will pay for certain things.  Say you place your child in a non-public school for two months prior to the resolution.  You did this legally and they should be on the hook for paying for this NPS as long as it is agreed that this is what your child needs to get FAPE.  It is determined that the district should pay for the schooling for the two months prior - that's all that is discussed, but when the paperwork comes back, the district has added in without any conversation or agreement, that they will not pay for behavioral services or a one to one aide as they had previously agreed were needed for your child to benefit from an educational placement prior to the day you sign the agreement.  Because of what you discussed you are under the impression that they are covering all services except for OT and Speech therapy which were excluded by agreement, and to top it off, as you are trying to read through the agreement, they enter the room and start chatting with each other so that you are not really able to concentrate.  In this case, you must sign the agreement that day, there is no taking it home to read and think about, it has to be done that day.

So, what I learned from this is - have a list of everything that must be included even if they are not specific due process issues and check them off before agreeing to anything.  You can bet there could be things that you did not discuss as it wasn't in the due process complaint.  Then, check all the fine print for any additions to the agreement that were not discussed.  Do not sign until they agree to honor the spirit of what was stated rather than going along to get things over and done, yes you are tires, but so are they, and maybe they will decide to quit arguing over stuff they shouldn't be arguing about if you are ready to go to court.  Either take your copy of the agreement out of the room to read and inspect carefully, or tell them to leave and you will call them when you are ready to sign any paperwork.

They are not there to discuss what your child needs.  They are there to settle a court case and give as little as possible no matter what your child's needs.  This is a battle and they will stop at nothing to win.

How to Save Time, Money, and Your Sanity at IEP Meetings

I have found that when our attorney comes to our IEP meetings there is a lot of time wasted.  We really try to have him come to as few as possible, but there are still times when we feel it is important for him to come.  I can just as easily tape the meeting, send him a copy, and let him listen without having to pay his travel time.  Additionally, if there are only a few minutes that he needs to hear I can cue that up for him or tell him where on the recording he needs to listen thus reducing our attorney fees significantly.  At first we had him come to all of the meetings, this was important so that he could get a feel for what we were dealing with and so he know where to go with our case.  He needed to know the players and their personalities just in case we had to go to Due Process.  Once I was able to catch on to what was important and what should or should not be said we felt safe with informing him of what occurred after the fact.

We also found that when he was coming the district tended to start meetings last and take many breaks.  That didn't happen at our most recent meeting, but when we were going to take a five minute break the district people all left for over 20 minutes.  If they can use up your attorney money in those meetings then you my not have enough left to fight them later on when it comes to going to Due Process.

Another way of wasting our money has been for the district people to read their reports to the whole group.  We do our best to avoid this.  For one thing it's insulting.  My daughter is the one with the learning handicaps, I and supposedly all of the district people in the room should have been capable of reading any reports and having the presenter highlight parts they feel are especially important.  Therefore it is important to ask for copies of their reports prior to any IEP meetings and then read them, write down questions, or problems you have with what you find.  They are supposed to give them to you once they are done and prior to the meeting but this rarely happens unless you request it in writing.  Even then, it often doesn't happen unless you write a reminder a few days before the meeting.  I also ask for copies of proposed goals prior to the meeting, and that way I don't feel under pressure to take in any important information at the meeting.  IEP meetings are pressure situations for us parents, and the less pressure we can feel, the better we will be able to participate in discussions.  I try to write down any questions or concerns I have ahead of the meeting.  I have also learned that some people will try to include written statements in the IEP that were prepared ahead of time and paint our child in an unfavorable light without our knowledge.  Our request for information ahead of time makes this kind of trick less likely to happen, but still we are careful to check the documentation when we sign so that nothing gets added in that we weren’t expecting.

I found this to be especially true at our first IEP meeting.  We had no time left to discuss goals or services so these were skimmed over and we had no input into what was written.  We have learned since then, we would simply call  for the meeting to reconvene on another day so that we could properly finish, but as neophytes we went along with their program of stifling any input we may have had.

I am also learning to do lots of research on every topic to be discussed at the meeting coming up.  Our last meeting was about Speech and Placement.  So, I looked all over to learn as much as I could about what our experts were discussing - the diagnosis, her suggested therapy, what the district SLP had previously suggested, looking for suggested goals online.  Everything I could find.  I went on the ASHA (American Speech and Hearing Association) web site.  I found a web site called Apraxia-Kids (my daughter's diagnosis) and I became as much of an expert as I could on her issues and how it is recommended that therapists work with kids like her.  I also went on the OAH (Office of Administrative Hearings) website to see how they have come down on cases similar to my daughter's.  Come to find that most parents are trying to get their kids into a lower level of care when they have my daughter's issues, and here we are trying to get her into a more restrictive environment.  What this tells me, is that our district is going in the opposite direction of how the judges come down most of the time and so we have a pretty good chance of winning if we go to Due Process.  I may not need all of this information now, but it gives me a sense of power going into the room that I have the judges on my side.  I am more confident and can argue more persuasively on my daughter's behalf.  I also believe that if I know what I'm talking about and have research to back me up, the district is less likely to push things to Due Process since they know I am more likely to win if I know what I am talking about.

The only problem with research is that there is often research that says otherwise too.  You want to try to know what they will have backing up what they say.  You want to check out where the preponderance of the research leads.  If there is only one research project that says X will work and you find 25 that say Y will work, you want to know this.  Then you should not be suggesting X and if they suggest X you can say, yes but there is only one project that supports your suggestions and 25 that back up my recommendation.

I don't know how people who work full time can get all of this done, but if you can't do it maybe you can get a friend or family member to help you.  Once you find one research study you can find more by looking at their footnotes.  And on and on.  Thanks to the internet we can do a lot more of this from home than we used to, we often have to test different search words and different search engines to find what will work best for us.  Finding professional organizations is great too, since they will generally include information about the latest research and about ethical guidelines that can help us in our quest for appropriate services.

"Forewarned is forearmed" is something my mom used to tell me.  Knowing what is coming, and using that knowledge to gain more knowledge is the only way to win the battles we face in getting our kids what they need from their education.

Underestimation

We had our latest IEP this last Tuesday.  It was another example of how our district will use any means they can think of to avoid doing the right thing.  Our daughter has been out of school for several months now, the last couple due to the fact that the district has not done what was promised in our last IEP and so there is no one who is trained to work as an aide for our daughter.  They were supposed to have sent her aid to training with the ABA company, but never did.  I have confirmed this with the ABA company but the district and the SELPA program specialist "didn't know" if the training had occurred.  When they act as if they don't know rather than becoming indignant you can be pretty sure it didn't happen.  But we didn't confront that part of things because it might make us look like shrews when we go to Due Process, if we have to go that far.  The truth is they probably never intended to send her for the training and didn't expect that I would check into it.  I think this because they are just used to pulling the wool over the eyes of unsuspecting parents.  You would think by now they would know we are no longer in that category but then they are champions at underestimation - they underestimate our kids and they underestimate us.  It helps them to underestimate our kids because then they can offer fewer services and if we think they are right in their underestimation then we agree to less than what our kids need.  Underestimating us however, is foolish, because then they don't plan for the responses we are capable of and do offer.  This can be to our benefit however, since throwing them off their game can cause them to make mistakes.

We need to keep in mind that they will try to underestimate our kids, at least those kids who appear to be lower functioning.  They believe this gives them the rationale (which we know is misguided) they need to offer little to nothing, since they don't want to "waste" their money on educating our lower functioning kids, they would rather use that money to litigate against the lower functioning kids than actually trying to give them any educational benefit.  If only I could go back to the days of believing their underestimation of my daughter, but never again.  Never again will they be able to convince me that offering her nothing is logical.  They have to try to educate our kids before they determine it won't work.  And they have to try with more than one type of modality, many times the reason our kids haven't learned is because no one has figured out how to reach them.  It may take effort to figure out what works with our individual kids, but, believe me it is worth the effort.