Do I Seem Upset?

“It seems like we’re all getting a little upset here”.  

I’ve heard this a lot lately at IEP meetings.  This is the statement made when the district doesn’t have an answer for a question that parents or advocates pose.  It can also come when the parents seem to be unhappy with the responses the district gives.  It’s said in order to slow things down and its said in a tone of voice that intimates that the parent is getting overly emotional when in fact I haven’t seen that to be the case.

Hey, district personal needs to be prepared for parents not being happy with their proposals, especially since most often those proposals are for far less than experts in the field suggest is needed for growth.  When non-verbal children are given one 20 minute session of speech per week, and that’s usually in a small group which most experts will tell you isn’t appropriate for non-verbal children, parents tend to get upset.  When a child with sensory issues that keep them from learning are given no OT services because they can write, as if writing is the only OT issue to address in the schools it isn’t so good.  Hey, we even knew that before the expert told us and we’ve been advocating for more and better services before we got here with the expert, and you have the audacity to tell me that my kid doesn’t need what it is so obvious he or she needs.  Yeah, I get a bit upset.  But I don’t think that fact is important unless I start looking like I’m about to pull out a machine gun. 

I think the next time someone says they think the group is getting upset I will say something to the effect of “So, what are you upset about?”   Let them get on the defensive for a change.