Friday, October 22, 2010

Excuses Not to Teach My Child

 I've heard them all.  Anyone with children in the lower functioning ranges or with behaviors have probably heard them all.  "It’s not our fault we can’t teach your child.  They don’t cooperate."  or "Your child is too low functioning, we need to put them in the life skills classes." or some other stupid excuse.  Okay, life skills are important, but when do we make that determination?  I believe that there are some life skills that should be taught early in the schools, but in special circumstances.  If your child doesn't have the necessary grasp to pull their pants on and off to use the bathroom then having a school OT help is appropriate.  If they need to learn how to button or tie their shoes, then fine, the school should intervene.  Going shopping, sitting at a table and eating, ordering from a fast food menu?  These are all things we as parents are equipped to teach our own children.  These are things we do every day with our kids and don't need the school jumping in to teach.  In the past families didn't take their kids with special needs out in public so the school HAD to teach these things, but that isn't the case anymore.  I believe going out in public and participating in a special activity from time to time can be useful, our kids need the opportunity to do some of these things away from us at times, but that should not be in the core curriculum week after week.     

And, hey, I doubt you, like my husband and I hoped we would have a child with special needs.  We even wished less for a child with a dual diagnosis such as our daughter who has Down Syndrome and Autism, with a lot of the other assorted diagnoses that go with each of those diagnoses.  But I’m sure there are other things you would have wished even less for, so consider this.  You didn’t go to school, plan a career as an educator, decide you would get further education as a special education educator an administrator or a therapist that is employed by the school district to give special needs children assistance, and then decide to say “I can’t do that” or “I don’t know the laws” or “That’s not my job” or any other such nonsense that people in this profession so often use to abdicate their responsibility and not give our kids what they need.

They, unlike you, chose this career.  They have a responsibility to know the laws, know your child’s needs, know what needs to be done to help your child, and then get it done.  They get PAID to do this job.  Of course, as the parent you are in a position in which you must learn many of these same things, but don’t let those who are paid to do a job try to make you feel guilty for expecting them to do that job.  Either they do the job or they get out and stop taking the paycheck.  Maybe they don’t get the biggest paycheck in the world, but they chose this job.  They knew going in that it would not make them rich and if they didn’t they aren't very bright.  Everyone knows that teaching is not the way to get financially wealthy. 

When I took classes back in college it was always clear that teachers were not well paid, but there were other benefits that made many people choose it anyway.  The hours work well for mothers because they can work and have children and be off the same days and close to the same hours in the day.  There would be take home work but you didn’t have to worry about your kid being in daycare for hours everyday.  You get summers, Christmas, and Spring break off – to pursue interests, to spend time with your family, to get a second job, whatever.  Most importantly, you get to shape little minds and make a difference in the world, one of your students may become president of the U.S. due in part to your encouragement and dedication.  In special education you may be the one who break through to a child who cannot speak and helps them to communicate for the first time!  Whatever the reasons, people chose this profession for their own reasons, but it can’t have been to get rich because we all know educators don’t get paid THAT well.

SO, if they CHOSE the career, they need to take responsibility for that choice and do the best job they can with the restrictions they must deal with.  We have dealt with an administrator, a principal who uses the cop-out that this is her first year as a principal as an excuse for not knowing the special education laws.  I seriously doubt she went into her interview for the position and stated that she expected to be excused for not knowing the basics of special education – she probably wouldn’t have been hired for the position if she had.  She had been a teacher and a vice-principal before taking this position so total ignorance would seem impossible.  I think her “ignorance” is a choice to mask what is actually a discriminatory attitude toward all persons with disabilities.  If you think this attitude does not exist you only need to look to the need for laws like the A.D.A. (American’s with Disabilities Act) which is an entire set of laws designed solely because there are so many in our society who believe that the disabled are not deserving of the same rights as the rest of us.

We must hold these people accountable for the choices they make without falling for the arguments that they are not capable of doing their jobs.  Plus, I must say, I rarely find teachers with this attitude, although there are some, it is more often those who are in administrative or the designated services positions, who use these excuses, and those positions pay more.   

I will write another post on what some of the many areas are that the schools are supposed to help with.  When I was new to this I really didn't know how much the school is responsible for, but they do.  If you're like me you'll be surprised at how much they don't tell you they are responsible for!   

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